Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Open to the Experience

I've been laughing because Easter's coming and I have stupidly wounded myself in the palm of the hand. I call it my partial stigmata. It's not a very big wound, but it's right in the palm of the hand, just like you see in the paintings of Jesus.

I've had some really minor spiritual experiences in my life. To be honest, they could easily have been just my imagination. I've always been fascinated by the prospect of having some sort of major experience though, like a real stigmata or vision.

I've been something of an asshole at times, so I've never really considered myself a candidate. Guys like Paul or Buddha were much worse though, so I suppose it's still possible.

My first reaction would probably be to seek psychiatric help. I've been around people with real delusional emotional problems before and there's some of it in my family, so if I ever had a vision or anything like it, that would most likely be my first thought. Mohamed reacted that way at first, too. For a while he kept his visions a secret, but finally talked to his wife about it to see if she thought he'd gone mad.

Most of us go through life never quite sure about our purpose or direction. I have to think some sort of contact with a spiritual entity would make the answers to those questions a lot clearer. I've never really thought about spending my life as a prophet, but who knows, maybe it'd be really cool.

The great majority of humans go through their entire lives without anything even resembling that sort of experience, and of the few that do, many of them meet pretty unpleasant ends but I think it'd be worth a painful end though to have even one second's glimpse into the larger universe.

I've never really expected any sort of contact with the other side or another dimension, but I can't imagine anything more interesting or more worthwhile.

People have a tendency to follow anyone they believe had these kind of experiences. I wouldn't want that. A vision wouldn't change my opinion that people serve God best when they learn to follow themselves. I could be a witness or a messenger, but never a prophet who leads a flock.

If there are any spirits or higher entities out there reading my meager scribblings on the internet, try and make contact some time. I'm open to the experience. Tell me something I could never know any other way. Give me a glimpse of how you see the universe. Who knows, maybe I could make something of it that might help somebody somewhere someday.

No comments: